"In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed." ---Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)As an author you always tend to suck on misery to get a feeling for scope of a situation. And as it happens, the misery thrives on details and the finer points. Unfortunately, unless you have an extraordinary sense of observation, the memories as rich in detail only comes from personal experiences. So here we are, waiting to dissect another episode of my life. I found it very difficult to dig in and find cynism so it might not be as funny but the humor is there. The Dark Humor.
When I am not in a relationship, I usually bitch and moan about how there are no good single girls in my neighborhood. And when some one is actually crazy enough to go out with me, I count faults faster than the note counting machine. After a few days of togetherness I duck, jump and hide in every futile attempt to avoid commitment. Failing thus, I try and sabotage the relationship. Most of it goes on in the head, the subconscious some idiots are calling it now. There were two incidents in my life, where my commitment fearing self couldnt see past the self imposed barriers and ended up hurting people that actually cared about me. These two are of the four people I omitted from my Friendship Day Tribute. I dont know why, but I think that they are important in some other context.
The first one, Dash I had called her the last of the times I mentioned her with my besty. Dash as in a hyphen or blank, not a surname. It was before I had the desire to be in a relationship. As it happened that my besty was head over heels in love with this dash girl. I on the other hand, enjoyed a slightly more than cordial relationship with her. My thoughts obviously were with my besty, as we plotted schemes to get them together. They backfired, ricocheted of the walls surrounding her. But we never lost heart, for three months we planned and schemed. Until my father told me that he has been transferred. And I remember quite well that, before her no girl had ever occupied my mind so much, not after school hours anyway. A few days before my departure the dash came upto me, tied a friendship band on my wrist. I was surprised to see her crying. I didnt figure out for ages, what that was all about. We werent that close! She said some heavy dialogue that just went above my head. In that chaos I left. Well, my defense is boys are idiots.
The second one, I sabotaged classically. There was this plain gorgeous girl, who was actually mad enought to go out with me, and I never paid any attention to her. I wouldnt listen to her, I constantly ditched her for other friends. Althoug we did manage some extremely touching conversations. I always run short of words whenever I speak of her...
Softly Now, You owe it to the world
And everyone knows that you're my favourite girl
But there's some things in life that are not meant to be
I'm not meant for you and your not meant for me
Here's to our problems
And here's to our fights
Here's to our achings
And here's to you having a
Good life From Me Good Life
Here is to our abandoned plans! To your success and happiness! To your Good Life.
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