The Quest for Redemption

This one goes out to my team....

You cant seriously expect me to publicly mention what exactly is the quest for redemption, but I will instead share two of the most memorable experiences of my life.

December 2005- January 2006

It was somewhere 28th or 29th, I received an email from IIT Bombay, they said that I have been shortlisted for a workshop and competition on Computational Fluid Dynamics, CFD for short. As it happened I did not know anything about fluid dynamics, so through January I studied hard, put in a lot of effort and went for the workshop. On January the 20th, in a classroom full of people from top colleges of India, the NITS and Dr. Atul Sharma of Aerospace Department, IIT Bombay, a first year student of a virtually unknown college raised his hand to tell everyone that he is the only first year student, from a virtually unknown college. I further confirmed I have had no training in fluid mechanics, the 35 people in that room except for me laughed openly, including the professor. By the end of the day nobody was laughing, as I was among the ten students, who made it to the second round. By the end of the second day, people older than me and from better colleges came to me for advise, and by the end of the third day, at completion of the workshop, I had wrapped up the competition and praise from Mr. Sharad Purohit, the director of CDAC. I also got to use ParamPadma, India's fastest supercomputer, ranked just over 100th in all of the world!

On that day I decided I will return to IIT Bombay for the techfest every single year. I was determined to win the biggest competition of the fest. I did make a team and we did participate in Techfest 2007 but didnt win, performed well in our own eyes but not well enough to justify the expenditure.

Three Days ago

The three members from the old team were sitting in my room and discussing the current endeavor. I for the fun of it, found the old drawings that we made last year, for the 2007 Techfest, and seeing those drawing, reduced us to fits of laughter. They are such crap, seriously useless, yet back then those drawing made infinite sense to us. Same goes for a lot of other work. So listen to me, for what I have to say is very important, it was a learning curve. And it still is, we dont claim to know the answers, but we want to find them. Its not about knowing but finding out, and giving your best.

That is what every competition is all about. Setbacks and crappy work comes with being new to any project, and it will pass and hopefully you too like us will look back at these days and laugh about it. Believe me when I tell you that this is going to be the most rewarding experience of your lives. People are always going to tell you that you cant do it, because they didnt do it themselves. It is going to be tough, not all the answers that you want will be staring you in your face but buried beneath mounds of dirt, that you will have to dig. It will come down to commitment, how much time and energy you are going to put in it. Whether you will put it above everything else that you have in life, or will you give excuses of from the everything else in your life to not do your share of work. I know each and everyone of you, and I know you well, even if I never spoke to you before but I know that you are capable of doing whatever it is that is your work. Never lose hope, or the faith in yourself. Also remember, that one person alone can undo the good work of all the others, if one part fails the whole thing will fail. So just keep your head down, and keep working hard because like our Web Designer said The Worst is Yet to Come.

Guilty? Or little harsh

For Sanju Baba....
For wowing us from Rocky to Lage Raho Munnabhai









I may not be Bollywood's most ardent fan, I may not be the first in line for new releases, but that doesnt mean I love it any less.

Well over ten years (twelve-fourteen) ago, my father allowed me to accompany him to the Jaipur airport where he was going to drop off my cousin. As I had never even seen an aeroplane in real life let alone ride on one, I was very excited to get to watch a plane take off. But what I never knew, I had another surprise waiting for me. When we tried to enter the Airport, we were not issued airport tickets that allow entry in the lounge. "Passengers Only," we were told. I was sorely disappointed. Airport to me was like a castle at that time. As I and my father watched my cousin disappear behind rows of faces, the sound of screeching breaks made us all turn around. A black sedan (probably Esteem, I dont remember) appeared out of thin air. The doors opened, out stepped a man over six feet tall, looking like he dropped out of a movie reel. On his side was a lovely lady, in clothes I didnt believe existed. As he entered the Airport, a guard walking in front clearing the people out of their way. Many fans jostled him for autograph before he managed the short walk between the sedan and the gate. He was inside the gates when I finally jolted out of my trance and pleaded with the guard on the gate to let me inside. My father helped, and provided me with his phone book and a pen. With a nod of the guard I rushed inside, giving myself a full 360 degree visibility with a rotating forward motion as I desperately tried to reach to him before he got away. I need not have worried, he was standing in the lounge, leaning on the barrier talking to the lady. I rushed to him said, Autograph please and handed him my father's phonebook. He acquiesced and asked my name. I stammered it out as he ruffled my hair which made me stammer even more as I tried to thank him. I dont think I ever actually thanked him considering I was rushing out before I knew it, trying to savor the memory of the most glorious moment of the seven or eight year young life. I glanced at the lopsided writing, it said

luv
Sanjay Dutt

(I never possessed the autograph as my father told me he had many important contacts in that small, dusty phonebook. I anyway thought, it was too grand a thing to possess. Some years later I came to know he had lost it. It didnt cause me much pain, a little disbelief though as I was starting to question some of my mother and father's beliefs. )

I like Sanjay Dutt, I admire his work. The effort and yet the carefree manner, he is refreshing. From the don of Vaastav to guru of Gandhigiri in Lage Raho, he has proved versatile . From one cornerstone to another, he covered many leagues and in face of adversity. I liked the confidence, with which he faced the charges and the innocence of his pleading touched me. In today's Times of India, some person was quoted as saying this was too big a punishment for recklessness. Perhaps he was right. Even as we love him, love his work and his on and off stage antics the fact remains. He did something terrible, reckless yes, but yet a legal offence. I dont think even the judge will disagree if I say that Sanjay Dutt is not likely to commit another offence. But then the book says he should be punished. Then a thought comes to mind that punishment was meant to make the man see error of his ways so that he must not repeat the offence. Then as soon as that thought appears another counters, but what about other film stars? If Sanjay was let go others will take the law lightly. Then again, yes, but six years? and my mind just jams.

As a fan I dont like the fact that he has to spend time in a Jail in the same conditions as Abu Salem. As a person I think he should have been granted the probation period he requested, or at the very least allowed the one last phone call to his daughter. Watching the videos of his walk from court to police vehicle it appeared that a couple of policeman were trying to show off, manhandling Dutt just to prove they can. But I am forced to accept the bitter truth, that the decision making was done according to the book and it was a bold decision. As an Indian Citizen I am forced to accept on the whole it was the right decision, (minimum imprisonment is five years and maximum being 10, so dont think they could have given him two or three years) even if it seems very harsh.

And that's why they say

"the past always comes back to haunt you. You can bury it but it will always claw its way back out.."

Here is wishing our dear Munnabhai luck, and support. And the thing I forgot forteen years ago... Thanks, for the autograph and thanks for entertaining us over and over again. Bollywood (even Mumbai) wont be the same without you!