20 reasons not to fall in love!

Yay baby, the nasty post is back.

As I find myself tethering on the edge of a failed romance, I am thinking what the hell. So without preamble, lets have it...

(In a perfectly random order)

* There are a lot of flavors of ice cream out there. There is chocolate chip, there is vanilla, butter scotch, strawberry. Why would you wanna get stuck with one, so like Joey said in Friends Pilot episode, "Grab a spoon!".

* Ever heard of Amsterdam? If you fall in love, you can still probably make it to Amsterdam, to be able to enjoy the things that are legal there is a totally different issue.

* Love is a figment of your imagination.

* Think of all the women with loose morals! What will happen to them if guys like us keep falling in love. How will they survive! Its time you gave your humanitarian side a chance you know.

* Think of all the beers you wont be able to drink! (I am only at my best with 3 beers inside of me and more on the way!)

* As one of my best friends continuously reminds me, love is like a can of shaked up soda, just waiting to explode. In case it does explode, you wouldnt want to be in the way, would you?

* Freeeeeeeeeddddddddddddoooooooooooooooooooom!!! I cant stress this enough! (literally!) Why would you want to put limitations on yourself!

* The chief idea of falling in love is to help a person grow up. I strongly object to all forms of growing up! Trust me growing up is no fun!

* The "plus 1" factor. You are never alone! Its like a blood sucking leech is attached to you all the time, feeding on you continuously.

* Timing! What if you fall in love too early? Your life is ruined man! Think of all the places you wont be able to go, all the trips you wont be able to take! You may even end up getting married. What a perfectly horrendous idea. **shudders**

* The conspiracy theory. Love is just a conspiracy spread by girls and sponsored by corporates, to twist the poor guys' heads into a mess so they no longer can differentiate right from wrong. It is a whole process of training the guys to be good husbands! You will know what I mean if you have ever trained a dog and been in a relationship, the principles involved are pretty much the same.

* Vegas!! How can anybody think being in love is cooler than having a crazy no holds barred night in Vegas!

* A great man had this to say about women,

"The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What... does a woman want?""
--Sigmund Freud

If the father of psychology cant answer that, what chance do you reckon you have?

* Think about this. Do you want to fall from a 10th floor of a building?
Forget the 10th floor. Imagine this. You are sitting on your living room couch. Do you want to fall down from that? Then why the hell would anybody want to fall in love is beyond me!

* People are pretty stupid as it is. Love just gives them a perfect reason to justify their stupidity! You know if I become president (a dear ambition of mine) some day, I will outlaw stupidity.

* The sparkling dream! You lose touch with reality, and start chasing something that doesnt probably exist. You become oblivious to so much, everything appears so rosy and wonderful that by the time you wake up you are in one huge pile of manure.

* Failure to accept reality is another side product of being in love. You are unable to accept the fact that your loved one may not be so perfect after all. Many people do, use and throw you know. No way to know for certain, why take the risk.

* Think of all the new girls turning 18 every day!

* Imagine this, you are driving 80 kmph on a highway. There is an intersection coming up, now if you are lost in the cuckooland, you wont slow down. If there is a truck coming up at right angles to you at the intersection, wham!
This is what happens in love, 90% of the time with consequences which I assure you are only more dangerous. Symptoms include loss of vision and purpose, temporary insanity etc.

* The top reason --- Potential Heartbreak.

I hope you enjoyed it, I will be back with more soon. Keep watching this space. The dedication for this post goes to the unparalleled genius of the truly awesome, Mr. Void.

(Yes, I am dedicating this to myself, you got a problem with that?)

Oh and on a totally unrelated issue, I declare opening of a complaint hotline. If you have a problem/disagreement with anything I write, please write it down on an A4 paper, fold it down, put it in an envelop. Write the topic to the envelop, address it to Complaints, Void Incorporated. Go to your pooper, and flush it down. I promise to ignore every flushed complaint.

I on behalf of Void Incorporated, wish you all a very pleasant day.