Thursday, December 8, 2011

The One

I mean, what a topic to write about. So this pseudo friend I have, insists that I write about her. She is really hard to say no to, you know. Simply because she wont shut up unless and until you listen to her. Forget what you want to do, or what the consequences might be, but you have to do what she tells you to do.

Of course, its not only me. She would tell anyone and everyone, to do what she wants them to do. And poor bastards (and bitches) follow her command too. But then again, she would shout and scream and possibly throw stuff at you if you refuse. I say possibly because, lately my interactions with her have been over the phone or the Internet and I don't know if you know this but it is damn difficult to throw stuff at someone over the phone. And poor bastards (and bitches) take on the devious tasks she allots them and fulfills her command to the extreme. And then there are the consequences.

Its like when you keep drinking those intoxicating shots off the stripper's belly, and you know you should stop but you don't simply because its too much fun. Then there is the morning after. The throwing up and the hangover, the bright lights and the loud noises. And she swears never again, but what do you know. By the end of the day she is at it again, and you end up drinking shots off the poor stripper's belly once again.

Every once in a while, there is a brave man (or stupid fuck). This brave man (or stupid fuck), hates all forms of life (especially mine) and goes on to ignore her commands. This ends up in a war, an all out epic right out of the sets of Pearl Harbor. Wait, make that Lord of the Rings. I mean those black flying thingys (Nazguls to the literates amongst you) made a noise quite similar to her. And off she goes striking down anything and everything in her path. It actually makes me glad that Vishwamitra and all those other saints with the power to bestow curses are long gone or were mythical. I mean if they were real and alive, she would have bullied them into cursing entire humanity (Men only, women will be spared) into some sort of a fire wheel, where you keep running and running with your ass on fire for an eternity. I assure you, she would have done it.

And of course, in absence of these blessed saints, I am the one left to explain the subtle intricacies of humanity to her. And I tell her, life sometimes is very unfair and you should calm down every now and then or blow an artery ( I actually secretly hope that would happen. It would make my life so much easier). But of course, the things I want never happen, so she rambles on while I wonder what the fuck, all this bullshit and all she wanted was a "diet soda".

(Dedicated to a pseudo sister :P)

Saturday, July 17, 2010


I knew a twenty one year old girl who had leukemia, who threw anything she could lay her hands on, screamed hell but was also intelligent and in a weird way, with bones sticking out of her, and going completely bald, was still very beautiful.

I knew a seventy year old couple, fourty five years married and still in love.

I knew a brilliant guy, the ninety eight percent one, who threw away his life in alcohol and drugs.

I knew a guy, who supplied illegal firearms, uncrowned king of a small town underworld, who called me brother.

I knew people who had more shit surrounding them than the sewage line of Mumbai, and still came out smelling of roses.

I knew a psychology student who used to think I was Freud reincarnated.

I knew a girl, who made an ISD call to her ex to ask him to never speak to her again.

I knew a friend, who would only see good in people.

I knew a woman, who would criticise her best friends continuously to each other and still had more than her share of friends.

I knew a guy once, who believed in supernatural and claimed experiences continuously.

I knew a guy once who would cut off his arm and give it to anybody he has met twice.

I knew a girl once, who would never be satisfied no matter how much people did for her.

I knew a girl once, who was breathtaking gorgeous, intelligent like anything, and yet with a heart of gold.

I knew a girl who was 21 and a mother of a year and half old child.

I knew a guy once, who would jump off any cliff, claiming you will never know until you try.

Yes, I knew all of them...

I talk often enough about conformity. I talk about chances, I talk about fear, and I talk about hope. But today is different. Today I will make a request.

The reason I wrote a line about all these people was because there are a million ways to live your life. There are million ways to react to a particular situations. There are million ways of judging right from wrong. There are a million ways to win, another million to loose.

But the one thing anyone (except of course the authors of self help books) will admit, they have no fucking clue as to the winning certainty of a way in a situation. You can always see the best course of action in retrospect, but knowing it as you confront the situation is not quite possible.

The point I am trying to make is, when we dont know, why do we interfere and advise. Why do we force our friends and family in conformity? Why cant we just let them live out their life in their own way. Everyone needs a bit of support. More so, when they go on and try new things, march in to unchartered territories. Why do we stop them. Why not, whisper a word of encouragement. Why not put our trust in them.

Why else do you think we have so many arguments with our parents?

Sometimes or rather always, you must let people do things their own way. And not, unwillingly or because it leads to an argument. You understand them. You put yourself in their shoes, and be there for them. Not show resentment towards not following your advise. And should they fail, for whatever reason, be there. Support them, without saying "told you so".

A world where everybody does it the same way is a boring world. A world where you dont understand your friends and family, is a sad world. And there is no solution, but understanding.

The world is interesting. From the things to see, things you hear, things you smell, things you feel and of course the people you meet. The chief reason behind it, as I see it, is the variety you get, from ugly to beautiful. Some that makes sense to some that dont. Some that is fair, some that is unfair. Some natural, some artificial. But it is all there. And that is what makes world interesting.

So, I humbly rquest you, please dont ruin it...

As always, with love I remain,

Yours Truly

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

2009 Never Came

2008 was the best year of my life. I remember writing about it. Check it out here before you contine to read this.

We worked hard, achieved a lot. Eyes that were full of dreams, as the year begun, saw the detination approach closer. By the end of the year, I was almost certain we had made it. I could sense it, feel it. I was sure it will appear any minute now, just waiting for the year to come.

"A lot has been achieved in 2008, the year that was the high waters of a truly entertaining voyage. 2009 is the year we reap the awards, reach the destination."

But 2009 never came. Its eighteen months since I wrote that. I am eighteen months older, eighteen months more of a cynic, but the destination is nowhere on the horizon. The scent, the feel, the hope, all vanished overnight, going up in a puff of smoke. I am lost. In fact, so much so, I am no longer even sure where the destination is.

But in the end, the golden rule always works. Keep your expectations to a minimum, and hope to a maximum. I guess in a way, the only difference between 2008 and 2010 is, I am not enjoying life anymore... Hopw you fare well.

Luv & Luck

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Dance Like No One is Watching

Dance like no one is watching. Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt and live like it's heaven on Earth.

If you pause to consider, it is probably the best advise anyone can dispense you, that you are very unlikely to heed. It is also a beautiful thought and it happens to be a Mark Twain quote, which suddenly makes me crave for a Tom Sawyer adventure.

If you ever have a crappy day, you can usually rely on three things to cheer you up. Chocolates (or in general a good meal), alcohol and if there is still some room left, a heart to heart conversation with someone who understands. But then there are days when you get all three of these and still feel depressed/lonely/sad (take your pick) as you climb in bed. Then there is the hidden fourth.

All you have to do is cry... and you will feel better. (Just Kidding)

The hidden fourth is a brilliant song, or better still, a collection of songs, an empty terrace/balcony/room/any-secluded-place-in-general, and two feet that can move. :) The only thing better than dancing like no one is watching, is dancing when there is actually no one watching you. :P

Just, put on some music on a radio, i pod, a complicated woofer system, or whatever you can lay your hands on, just find something and sway to its beats. Dance awkwardly, slowly, steadily. Sing along with the song, shout if the situation demands it. But sing, and dance. And as you sing, and as you dance, the second part of the quote will materialize in you. Your troubles will recede, at least for the time being, your head will be lighter, your heartache will take a breather, and you will be able to sleep. Hopefully.

As always, hope must drive you.

Fare you well, comrade.

Luv and Luck

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Description of SAIL MANAGEMENT TRAINEE (Tech) [Uncensored Version]

Very few things in this world gives as much satisfaction as poking fun at your job description.

A sub-specie of Homo sapiens; predominantly male, however, a few females (although ugly) are spotted every now and then and are usually surrounded by a crowd of males. There are no stable indicators of its appearance, since they come in all colours, shapes and sizes, but an average male is 5' 8" in height and an average female is 5' 0" in height.

Being a largely cold-blooded mammal, it does not venture outside in the heat of the day and remains lying on beds in air conditioned common rooms of places having Steel in their name (Eg. Steel House). It can also be found in any place that sells tea in a glass and cigarettes or well, most types of alcohol. These places constitute its summer habitat, which, if destroyed, will make it extremely difficult for them to survive the summer. In face of such a threat of extinction, The SAIL Management Trainees, migrate, in large numbers to other habitats, which maybe corporates or other PSU's, where AC rooms, tea stalls and alcohol are rampant.

Close examination reveals that A SAIL Management Trainee delights itself in singing songs, poking fun at others of its species, criticizing SAIL management, and plotting ways to change their species (the success rate is limited, but in another iteration of evolution, biologists believe, the success rate may increase by 5%).

Male SAIL Management Trainee is highly sought after mate for homo sapiens (because they are obscenely prosperous) residing in most regions of India. Mating commonly happens through parental arrangements and consents, followed by celebrated rituals (more commonly known as arranged marriage) and may involve some sort of dowry. It is although not uncommon for both male and female management trainees to enter into pre mating with partners without parental consent. Although, here their choice of a mate is very limited, and it is not uncommon for a management trainee to have a mate in a far away city (more commonly known as long distance relationships).

All current and future engineers, desirous of joining this specie are strongly advised against it.

P.S. I hope it makes a good read. I do not take credit for writing this post. The credit of turning a one liner joke into a full blown article belongs to my besty, Prachi. Let this be first of many things, that we write together... Cheerios!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Stupid Effing Conspiring Universe

"All things are one. And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it."
From the book The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.

The Alchemist, on the whole is a truly remarkable book. I read it when I was in school, and I swear I slept with it under my pillow for many nights. My best friend from school, still calls me up every time he thinks of the alchemist. If you are yet to read The Alchemist, and dont want the story ruined for you, please leave now, and return when you finish.

The Alchemist is about this boy Santiago who dreams of a treasure, makes his way from Spain to the pyramids in Egypt on the way falling in love and claiming his treasure and how the universe conspires to help him achieve it. I still think chasing treasure is a bad metaphor for chasing your dreams. I mean, would you really leave the love of your life for some treasure that may or may not exist?

The universe do conspire, as I keep finding out over and over much to my annoyance, but for what, that is the mystery. May be, Coelho has got it right, it conspires for you to achieve whatever you may want, but the problem with living in the modern world is nobody has any clue what they want. And the stupid effing conspiring universe is, -er- well, stupid. It apparently cant differentiate between the people who want something and people who are just confused. Or maybe, the confused people have screwed up the calculations. Or two people want the same thing. Or maybe, we are just part of a cosmic joke.

(I cant help but remember, Hitchhiker's Guide to Galaxy, book 4... the creator had this message for beings of this universe "Sorry for the inconvenience" )

To tell you the truth I have no clue how this universe works. Nobody does. But by the time I started college, I had figured out one thing about dreams or the things you want. They are one and the same. You cant dream your way out of reality. You cant wish your dreams into coming true. You cant be unprepared for your dreams to shatter like glass. If you have a dream, the universe may conspire and help you achieve it. Or the universe may conspire to throw a rock at your dreams, so they shatter before you get a chance to chase them. One way or the other, you cant predict it. And no, calling it stupid and effing doesn't help.

But here is the important thing. There are close to 7 billion people in this world. The universe apparently cant conspire for everyone at once. It ignores you more than it conspires for or against you. There is only one way to make your dreams come true. You fight for them. You wake up every morning, and you go to work to make your dreams come true. You dont complain or drown in self pity, but you pick up your hammer and start fixing what you want, starting from breakfast. And yes, you can fix your breakfast with a hammer (think seafood).

Yes, The Alchemist is a truly remarkable book. But it is a book, and that is the problem. If the packs of cigarettes should contain statutory warnings, the same should be applied to these books. Like I said, it is a truly remarkable book.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Happyness, or the pursuit that of

Life is not easy. A simple thing to say, simpler to accept. Yes you nod your head, and pass the sympathetic smiles like you do at times when you hear about death in a friend's family. But do you actually understand the pain at that moment? And likewise you don't, unless you pause and take a moment to consider life is not easy.

Many things in life are overrated, and you can go on about arguing what is and what is not. But the sad thing is, like you agree life is not easy but don't really understand the fact unless you stop to consider, there is only one thing in life that sure as hell is not overrated. It is happyness (spelt with a y in dedication to the awesome movie pursuit of happyness). I say sadly, because even though you agree, odds are you are still not doing anything about it. How many things we chase since childhood, beginning from toys, sweets and balloonds, affection, honor, respect, girls/guys, marks, booze, partying, career, money and the list goes on. But when do we pursue happyness, if we do at all.

Remember your first paycheck, and your happiness, did the subsequent ones brought anything more than relief at getting paid? Does your bank balance bring a smile to your face. When you were alone did your toys brought you comfort in your childhood, let alone happiness? Think of all the this on that list, or better still make your own list, and really think how much happiness did the things you chased madly brought you. If you are lucky, you will find the one thing that will be like a talisman in your heart, keeping you warm and happy in knowledge of its existence. If you don't, just think I am barking mad, and discard these silly mumblings of a pathetic poor idiot.

Amen to your happyness (or the pursuit that of).

As always, with love I remain

Yours Truly,