As I fight a fresh bout of depression/self-pity, I feel this is no reason to ruin my blog with pathetic and self deprecating mumblings. So I decided to go nasty instead... Welcome to the Nasty Post, and I hereby announce opening of a whole new tag and category-- The Nasty Ones!
I should begin by explaining what I mean by nasty. The first requisite for a post to be categorized as nasty is it should be "dripping" with sarcasm. It is a blatant attack on a system, person, idea, or basically any social crap that we have to put up with. Although not necessary, but I will try to put as much dark (or shallow) humor as possible to make it an excellent read.
To begin with the post..
I have been quoted as saying relationships are important because they help you grow and become a better person. Although I am starting doubt that, cuz walking down that lane again, I only have horrible ideas. But still, lets give being good a chance. There are many things that come as dowry in a relationship, even if it is 5 minutes of making out with a stranger or 10 mins of it, with a dear old friend while you are drunk. Whether its long distance or short, doesnt matter. This dowry is sometimes good, sometimes bad, just like everything in life. So what I will do is, take the 10 best items of the dowry and tell you why its good to be in a relationship. Next time you feel strained by a relationship or feel like dumping your significant other, come back and read this. Not that it will solve any of your problems, but I do hope it will give you one solid laugh.
So in perfectly random order
* You have a standing excuse to bail on stupid/boring plans your friends made or if you have to help them with something that you dont want to do
* Every guy has a feminine side, what better opportunity to do those things that you always wanted to do but cant because they are feminine. Your gf will love you for it.
* Increasing your visibility in the girl sororities
* Now that you are unavailable, it increases your rating with your dreamgirl, the one that you were always afraid to ask out. A recent study showed, people are always interested in what they cant have.
* If you play it cool and well enough, your parents dont bother you as much because they are curious about the long hours you spend talking on the phone, and they start being nice to you.
* It is one up on the brothers without girlfriends, and in those mean circles any sort of advantage is cool.
* Your kid cousins dont try to fix you up with their kid friends.
* My personal favorite: Its nice to have someone who can list all your shortcomings in under a minute, if you ever decide to strive to be a better person.
* It increases your cool quotient. In many circles it is considered lame to be single, and well cool to have a girlfriend. Like disc, for example, many wont let you enter without a female friend.
* And of course, the unmentionables! After all it is one step closer to the booty town thing we talked about earlier. ;)
I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I seriously hope certain people will not suddenly find out about the existence of this webspace and log on to it, that can turn awkward. But if they do, let me just say, its all in good fun and nothing personal.
As always, with love
Yours Truly
Void
