Yay baby, the nasty post is back.
As I find myself tethering on the edge of a failed romance, I am thinking what the hell. So without preamble, lets have it...
(In a perfectly random order)
* There are a lot of flavors of ice cream out there. There is chocolate chip, there is vanilla, butter scotch, strawberry. Why would you wanna get stuck with one, so like Joey said in Friends Pilot episode, "Grab a spoon!".
* Ever heard of Amsterdam? If you fall in love, you can still probably make it to Amsterdam, to be able to enjoy the things that are legal there is a totally different issue.
* Love is a figment of your imagination.
* Think of all the women with loose morals! What will happen to them if guys like us keep falling in love. How will they survive! Its time you gave your humanitarian side a chance you know.
* Think of all the beers you wont be able to drink! (I am only at my best with 3 beers inside of me and more on the way!)
* As one of my best friends continuously reminds me, love is like a can of shaked up soda, just waiting to explode. In case it does explode, you wouldnt want to be in the way, would you?
* Freeeeeeeeeddddddddddddoooooooooooooooooooom!!! I cant stress this enough! (literally!) Why would you want to put limitations on yourself!
* The chief idea of falling in love is to help a person grow up. I strongly object to all forms of growing up! Trust me growing up is no fun!
* The "plus 1" factor. You are never alone! Its like a blood sucking leech is attached to you all the time, feeding on you continuously.
* Timing! What if you fall in love too early? Your life is ruined man! Think of all the places you wont be able to go, all the trips you wont be able to take! You may even end up getting married. What a perfectly horrendous idea. **shudders**
* The conspiracy theory. Love is just a conspiracy spread by girls and sponsored by corporates, to twist the poor guys' heads into a mess so they no longer can differentiate right from wrong. It is a whole process of training the guys to be good husbands! You will know what I mean if you have ever trained a dog and been in a relationship, the principles involved are pretty much the same.
* Vegas!! How can anybody think being in love is cooler than having a crazy no holds barred night in Vegas!
* A great man had this to say about women,
"The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What... does a woman want?""
--Sigmund Freud
If the father of psychology cant answer that, what chance do you reckon you have?
* Think about this. Do you want to fall from a 10th floor of a building?
Forget the 10th floor. Imagine this. You are sitting on your living room couch. Do you want to fall down from that? Then why the hell would anybody want to fall in love is beyond me!
* People are pretty stupid as it is. Love just gives them a perfect reason to justify their stupidity! You know if I become president (a dear ambition of mine) some day, I will outlaw stupidity.
* The sparkling dream! You lose touch with reality, and start chasing something that doesnt probably exist. You become oblivious to so much, everything appears so rosy and wonderful that by the time you wake up you are in one huge pile of manure.
* Failure to accept reality is another side product of being in love. You are unable to accept the fact that your loved one may not be so perfect after all. Many people do, use and throw you know. No way to know for certain, why take the risk.
* Think of all the new girls turning 18 every day!
* Imagine this, you are driving 80 kmph on a highway. There is an intersection coming up, now if you are lost in the cuckooland, you wont slow down. If there is a truck coming up at right angles to you at the intersection, wham!
This is what happens in love, 90% of the time with consequences which I assure you are only more dangerous. Symptoms include loss of vision and purpose, temporary insanity etc.
* The top reason --- Potential Heartbreak.
I hope you enjoyed it, I will be back with more soon. Keep watching this space. The dedication for this post goes to the unparalleled genius of the truly awesome, Mr. Void.
(Yes, I am dedicating this to myself, you got a problem with that?)
Oh and on a totally unrelated issue, I declare opening of a complaint hotline. If you have a problem/disagreement with anything I write, please write it down on an A4 paper, fold it down, put it in an envelop. Write the topic to the envelop, address it to Complaints, Void Incorporated. Go to your pooper, and flush it down. I promise to ignore every flushed complaint.
I on behalf of Void Incorporated, wish you all a very pleasant day.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Haunted Musings
Once upon a time, I used to write a lot. Some of it, even good. I love this story, and it is one of the best I have ever done. To think I was only 18, when I wrote this :P
Dear Father,
It has been twelve years since I abandoned the foundation of trust to walk into an abyss. An abyss that I am getting sucked into, deeper with every passing minute. Today, I write not because I seek my home back, I am writing to confide in you. I have to let somebody know.
Something inside me has always prevented me from getting too attached to a soul, from getting too close. Hardly a week ago I met Gia. And the moment I saw her laughing, I felt her touch, everything changed. The times she kissed me, the times she ran to hug me, the times I listened to her talk, completely oblivious to the harm I was exposing her to, those are the moments I want to spend a lifetime in. When she fell asleep in my arms, clutching on for dear life, I never wanted to let go. Her innocence was her brilliance. When she was close to me all I wanted to do was provide every thing she will ever need. It seemed as if my life was divided in two parts, one before Gia and one after, an eternity separating them. I realized what a difference she made to my pathetic life. It is amazing how someone can affect you so. She made me smile, something I had long forgotten. I realized what I needed was a family that I could call mine. I realized I needed a Gia.
I knew within days I will have to let her go for something I had run after all my life and yet something that had failed to provide me any happiness that I seek so desperately. I was culprit of keeping a young child estranged from her mother. I was guilty of keeping a child prisoner for the triviality called money. And as I was collecting my thoughts, the message came through. The parents had succumbed to all the demands. I was not surprised, I would have happily paid everything I had to keep her with me. Those were not the terms and I knew it. With a fist clenching my heart I still promised myself I will make sure I return a smiling child. That was not to be, those cops, those bastards… I can still remember the shock in her eyes, seeing me pull out a gun, the love replaced by fear. I can still remember the stray bullet, the scream, and the blood trickling down her brow… and the whole world went still. I know these are the thoughts I will take to my grave. How do you apologize for something like that? How do you make up for such a loss? Those fallen cops don’t mean a thing. I owe somebody their child. I owe somebody their Gia. I owe a six-year-old girl her life. She is dead because I didn’t care enough. Dad, I killed her. And no matter how hard I try I can’t make these tears stop to the point where I am hoping to god - please let me run out of tears. I can’t live through this. I wont. I will rather burn in hell than stay here burning inside everyday with guilt. By the time you read this I will be long gone from the face of this good earth. Father, I had to let somebody know…
A son who couldn’t be yours,
Adam Mark Aslegar
Mark Aslegar folded the piece of deteriorating letter as he wiped a tear from his eyes, having read it every single day for the past six years.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Guide to Life!
Life, if you stop to inspect, is a series of incidents strategically following each other. I say strategically because I am being optimistic. If they are not strategic, they can be just as random as a roll of dice, so I would rather have someone knowing something about what the hell is happening all around us.
The only thing to remember is it is too short.
Dream, because dreams dont cost anything. Dont forget your dreams, never give up on them. On a day, when you are lying in dirt, beaten and bruised, and you can still remember your brightest dream and know its gonna happen, you will be alright. Either that, or well you have completely lost it.
Make friends. That is the only thing you earn in your life. Rest means nothing. Stand by your best friends, mostly. Take that extra drink, spill your guts! literally!
Remember your family. Be nice to your siblings. Forget grudges old and new with your parents. They will be gone before you know it. You will be glad if u do, or well extremely pissed!
Take that chance. If you want something go after it. Dont drift with the flow. If you know what you want, you are one of the few lucky ones. Even if you miss out, it is always better to take that chance! Although missing out can be hazardous to health. And I said take a chance, not roll a dice at some casino!
Travel. Reach out, expand your horizons. Remember the story of the nest bird.
Get drunk every once in a while. It clears your head. It shows you (and others!) what you really want, and what you really think. Do that tequila shot every now and then. (Its a shame nothing much can be done about the others.)
Be logical. Logic drives pretty much everything in this universe. It explains everything and it usually leads to a happy safe life. And it even drives the robots, so there you go!
Fall in love. It is one of the few times in life, where you can bear to be vulnerable. If you ever feel like defying logic, do it for the person you fall in love with. It is an experience you dont want to miss out on. Truly agonizing! :P
The only thing to remember is life is too short, so get busy living!
Yours Truly,
The Void
The only thing to remember is it is too short.
Dream, because dreams dont cost anything. Dont forget your dreams, never give up on them. On a day, when you are lying in dirt, beaten and bruised, and you can still remember your brightest dream and know its gonna happen, you will be alright. Either that, or well you have completely lost it.
Make friends. That is the only thing you earn in your life. Rest means nothing. Stand by your best friends, mostly. Take that extra drink, spill your guts! literally!
Remember your family. Be nice to your siblings. Forget grudges old and new with your parents. They will be gone before you know it. You will be glad if u do, or well extremely pissed!
Take that chance. If you want something go after it. Dont drift with the flow. If you know what you want, you are one of the few lucky ones. Even if you miss out, it is always better to take that chance! Although missing out can be hazardous to health. And I said take a chance, not roll a dice at some casino!
Travel. Reach out, expand your horizons. Remember the story of the nest bird.
Get drunk every once in a while. It clears your head. It shows you (and others!) what you really want, and what you really think. Do that tequila shot every now and then. (Its a shame nothing much can be done about the others.)
Be logical. Logic drives pretty much everything in this universe. It explains everything and it usually leads to a happy safe life. And it even drives the robots, so there you go!
Fall in love. It is one of the few times in life, where you can bear to be vulnerable. If you ever feel like defying logic, do it for the person you fall in love with. It is an experience you dont want to miss out on. Truly agonizing! :P
The only thing to remember is life is too short, so get busy living!
Yours Truly,
The Void
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Blast from the past
I am sort of lost again. It is surprising how often does that happen! Anyway, I found an old diary of mine, with a lot of stuff I had written, some of it live as it happened. This is bits and pieces from the darkest part of my mind, intensely personal. And therefore it is obvious, why it must be censored!
(Most of the following I wrote when I was passing time on the last bench in a class)
..... I am a horrible student, always been a last bencher unless coerced by forces of evil towards otherwise. And surely you dont expect me to listen....
... You see the things you dream about all of your life and you finally get them, dont always turn out to be the way you intend them to be...
............And I met my treacherous past, there was a lot that was to be said and should have been said and yet I didnt.....
..... There comes a time for everyone when they feel completely, utterly alone. This happens when you are forsaken by your best friends, the people you trust. And first you drift into a sea of nothingness and before you realize it, you get hit by a rock that you didnt knew exist.....
(And a particularly disturbing entry,)
August 29, 2006
Today looks like another long day. It is particularly difficult to spend the whole day surrounded by people and the days..... (unreadable)..... I dont know what the cure is, I am upto my head in crap. (Wonder what triggered this entry)
"The point Arpit, is to remember you must never give up on a friend."(This I believe is the best spur of the moment thing anybody ever said to me, I keep it close to my heart)
You critics or whatever else you may call yourself, are ashamed or frightened of the momentary and transient extravagance which are to be found in all creative minds and whose longer and shorter duration distinguishes thinking artists from the dreamer. You complain of your unfruitfulness because you reject too soon and discriminate too severely.
(A paragraph from a letter some author wrote to his critics, reproduced by Sigmund Freud in his book Dream Interpretation)
My head is on the verge of an explosion. A battle rages inside, a decision made subconsciously conflicts with the desires of the heart. What heart desires is often complex and more often is impragmatic. What heart desires is not always attainable, but the brain impregnated with power to reason and loaded with logic figures out a course of action less prone to failure. But the brain is incapable of power beyond all, a power that is both great and terrible. Dreams. Dreams can wake a man from grave and yet the same can drive him insane. Brain is also without the driving force that makes silver linings in the darkest of clouds. Its called hope. Hope is omnipresent, and its the one thing that nobody can ever take away from you. Courage can fail, hard work comes to naught but hopes and dreams retain the power to vanquish the darkest hour.
( July 13th, 2006, I remember the day, and things werent well when I wrote this. This somehow brought me peace, and has done so many times since.)
........ I just wish I could put all this behind me and close my eyes and fucking go to sleep.....
(A hard bout of insomnia catching up with me)
......... The body is full of hyper energy which is going to waste more than use.......
(One of the days trying to put TIRC together)
.... Its 1.35am and my hair are progressively greying by the thought of the magnitude of this event.....
(from the letter inviting people to join TIRC)
There are times in life when you encounter things beyond your capability. These are perhaps the most testing times anybody can face or the easiest. The difference lies in the attitude, broadly divided into go-getter or happy-go-lucky person. Go getter is the better human being, while the happy-go-lucky person is well, happier. Period!
Maybe passion is overrated maybe because passionate people are the unhappy ones. They chase sparkling dreams, and go after things they believe in, things they love. They are the ones who proudly wear their hearts on their sleeves and are not afraid of getting hurt. But a passionate guy is bound to be miserable as he comes to terms with his own limitations or the cavalier manner of his comrade/colleague/companions. But the passionate people will give you everything they got, till long after they can afford to.............
..... Maybe passion is overrated, but all it requires is two passionate people madly in love with each other to make an exciting life out of nothing............ I may not be much, but sure as hell know that I am passionate!
There unfortunately is no end to this diary, and I believe I will stop now, to be continued on a later date. Till then,
love
Void
(Most of the following I wrote when I was passing time on the last bench in a class)
..... I am a horrible student, always been a last bencher unless coerced by forces of evil towards otherwise. And surely you dont expect me to listen....
... You see the things you dream about all of your life and you finally get them, dont always turn out to be the way you intend them to be...
............And I met my treacherous past, there was a lot that was to be said and should have been said and yet I didnt.....
..... There comes a time for everyone when they feel completely, utterly alone. This happens when you are forsaken by your best friends, the people you trust. And first you drift into a sea of nothingness and before you realize it, you get hit by a rock that you didnt knew exist.....
(And a particularly disturbing entry,)
August 29, 2006
Today looks like another long day. It is particularly difficult to spend the whole day surrounded by people and the days..... (unreadable)..... I dont know what the cure is, I am upto my head in crap. (Wonder what triggered this entry)
"The point Arpit, is to remember you must never give up on a friend."(This I believe is the best spur of the moment thing anybody ever said to me, I keep it close to my heart)
You critics or whatever else you may call yourself, are ashamed or frightened of the momentary and transient extravagance which are to be found in all creative minds and whose longer and shorter duration distinguishes thinking artists from the dreamer. You complain of your unfruitfulness because you reject too soon and discriminate too severely.
(A paragraph from a letter some author wrote to his critics, reproduced by Sigmund Freud in his book Dream Interpretation)
My head is on the verge of an explosion. A battle rages inside, a decision made subconsciously conflicts with the desires of the heart. What heart desires is often complex and more often is impragmatic. What heart desires is not always attainable, but the brain impregnated with power to reason and loaded with logic figures out a course of action less prone to failure. But the brain is incapable of power beyond all, a power that is both great and terrible. Dreams. Dreams can wake a man from grave and yet the same can drive him insane. Brain is also without the driving force that makes silver linings in the darkest of clouds. Its called hope. Hope is omnipresent, and its the one thing that nobody can ever take away from you. Courage can fail, hard work comes to naught but hopes and dreams retain the power to vanquish the darkest hour.
( July 13th, 2006, I remember the day, and things werent well when I wrote this. This somehow brought me peace, and has done so many times since.)
........ I just wish I could put all this behind me and close my eyes and fucking go to sleep.....
(A hard bout of insomnia catching up with me)
......... The body is full of hyper energy which is going to waste more than use.......
(One of the days trying to put TIRC together)
.... Its 1.35am and my hair are progressively greying by the thought of the magnitude of this event.....
(from the letter inviting people to join TIRC)
There are times in life when you encounter things beyond your capability. These are perhaps the most testing times anybody can face or the easiest. The difference lies in the attitude, broadly divided into go-getter or happy-go-lucky person. Go getter is the better human being, while the happy-go-lucky person is well, happier. Period!
Maybe passion is overrated maybe because passionate people are the unhappy ones. They chase sparkling dreams, and go after things they believe in, things they love. They are the ones who proudly wear their hearts on their sleeves and are not afraid of getting hurt. But a passionate guy is bound to be miserable as he comes to terms with his own limitations or the cavalier manner of his comrade/colleague/companions. But the passionate people will give you everything they got, till long after they can afford to.............
..... Maybe passion is overrated, but all it requires is two passionate people madly in love with each other to make an exciting life out of nothing............ I may not be much, but sure as hell know that I am passionate!
There unfortunately is no end to this diary, and I believe I will stop now, to be continued on a later date. Till then,
love
Void
Monday, September 7, 2009
The Nasty Post
As I fight a fresh bout of depression/self-pity, I feel this is no reason to ruin my blog with pathetic and self deprecating mumblings. So I decided to go nasty instead... Welcome to the Nasty Post, and I hereby announce opening of a whole new tag and category-- The Nasty Ones!
I should begin by explaining what I mean by nasty. The first requisite for a post to be categorized as nasty is it should be "dripping" with sarcasm. It is a blatant attack on a system, person, idea, or basically any social crap that we have to put up with. Although not necessary, but I will try to put as much dark (or shallow) humor as possible to make it an excellent read.
To begin with the post..
I have been quoted as saying relationships are important because they help you grow and become a better person. Although I am starting doubt that, cuz walking down that lane again, I only have horrible ideas. But still, lets give being good a chance. There are many things that come as dowry in a relationship, even if it is 5 minutes of making out with a stranger or 10 mins of it, with a dear old friend while you are drunk. Whether its long distance or short, doesnt matter. This dowry is sometimes good, sometimes bad, just like everything in life. So what I will do is, take the 10 best items of the dowry and tell you why its good to be in a relationship. Next time you feel strained by a relationship or feel like dumping your significant other, come back and read this. Not that it will solve any of your problems, but I do hope it will give you one solid laugh.
So in perfectly random order
* You have a standing excuse to bail on stupid/boring plans your friends made or if you have to help them with something that you dont want to do
* Every guy has a feminine side, what better opportunity to do those things that you always wanted to do but cant because they are feminine. Your gf will love you for it.
* Increasing your visibility in the girl sororities
* Now that you are unavailable, it increases your rating with your dreamgirl, the one that you were always afraid to ask out. A recent study showed, people are always interested in what they cant have.
* If you play it cool and well enough, your parents dont bother you as much because they are curious about the long hours you spend talking on the phone, and they start being nice to you.
* It is one up on the brothers without girlfriends, and in those mean circles any sort of advantage is cool.
* Your kid cousins dont try to fix you up with their kid friends.
* My personal favorite: Its nice to have someone who can list all your shortcomings in under a minute, if you ever decide to strive to be a better person.
* It increases your cool quotient. In many circles it is considered lame to be single, and well cool to have a girlfriend. Like disc, for example, many wont let you enter without a female friend.
* And of course, the unmentionables! After all it is one step closer to the booty town thing we talked about earlier. ;)
I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I seriously hope certain people will not suddenly find out about the existence of this webspace and log on to it, that can turn awkward. But if they do, let me just say, its all in good fun and nothing personal.
As always, with love
Yours Truly
Void
I should begin by explaining what I mean by nasty. The first requisite for a post to be categorized as nasty is it should be "dripping" with sarcasm. It is a blatant attack on a system, person, idea, or basically any social crap that we have to put up with. Although not necessary, but I will try to put as much dark (or shallow) humor as possible to make it an excellent read.
To begin with the post..
I have been quoted as saying relationships are important because they help you grow and become a better person. Although I am starting doubt that, cuz walking down that lane again, I only have horrible ideas. But still, lets give being good a chance. There are many things that come as dowry in a relationship, even if it is 5 minutes of making out with a stranger or 10 mins of it, with a dear old friend while you are drunk. Whether its long distance or short, doesnt matter. This dowry is sometimes good, sometimes bad, just like everything in life. So what I will do is, take the 10 best items of the dowry and tell you why its good to be in a relationship. Next time you feel strained by a relationship or feel like dumping your significant other, come back and read this. Not that it will solve any of your problems, but I do hope it will give you one solid laugh.
So in perfectly random order
* You have a standing excuse to bail on stupid/boring plans your friends made or if you have to help them with something that you dont want to do
* Every guy has a feminine side, what better opportunity to do those things that you always wanted to do but cant because they are feminine. Your gf will love you for it.
* Increasing your visibility in the girl sororities
* Now that you are unavailable, it increases your rating with your dreamgirl, the one that you were always afraid to ask out. A recent study showed, people are always interested in what they cant have.
* If you play it cool and well enough, your parents dont bother you as much because they are curious about the long hours you spend talking on the phone, and they start being nice to you.
* It is one up on the brothers without girlfriends, and in those mean circles any sort of advantage is cool.
* Your kid cousins dont try to fix you up with their kid friends.
* My personal favorite: Its nice to have someone who can list all your shortcomings in under a minute, if you ever decide to strive to be a better person.
* It increases your cool quotient. In many circles it is considered lame to be single, and well cool to have a girlfriend. Like disc, for example, many wont let you enter without a female friend.
* And of course, the unmentionables! After all it is one step closer to the booty town thing we talked about earlier. ;)
I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I seriously hope certain people will not suddenly find out about the existence of this webspace and log on to it, that can turn awkward. But if they do, let me just say, its all in good fun and nothing personal.
As always, with love
Yours Truly
Void
Thursday, August 20, 2009
An Iota of Inspiration
Last time I started writing, I wanted to write something that would inspire me and get my deepest thoughts out. Instead I ended up bitching about a failed romance. I hope to go better this time.
It has been a rough couple of months for yours truly, the Void. I have lost so much, seen so much come to naught, that I am beginning to doubt myself. Well actually, I started doubting myself, a long time ago, right now I am starting to give up on myself. Everywhere things are like coming to no conclusion, and as much as I am trying to move forward I cant. Its the deep alley I described two years ago, I am back there again. (Click here to read that post)
And real life and dreams are colliding, big time. I keep trying to assure myself its going to be ok, and trying to keep positive, and not get frustrated by it, but it aint happening. I am cold, and as much as I hate to admit this, I am rattled.
But, shit happens all the time. And you have to look above all of that, and be good. I always say, Failure is when your best wasnt good enough, but what does a failure mean? Does it mean your life is over? Or that none of your dreams will ever come true? Some failures are more obvious, like failing a test, now u can always reappear in that test, so not such a big deal. Unfortunately, not all failures are that simple.
But you know, I am disappointed too. Because, I did put in an effort towards everything, I have worked hard for four years, and I expected some rewards right about now. I am just trying to convince myself, that I dont deserve anything, but I cant make myself believe it. Simply because I have put in too much fucking effort, to see it come to naught. Its all so screwed up that I am left wondering where would I be right now, if I had slacked off like many of my friends. Down a sewer maybe?
And maybe I have some other purpose, maybe I am meant to do something else. But most likely, my dues aint paid yet. It looks like, I still have some battles to fight before I can get my life back on track. I am prepared to start at the bottom again, and I am excited about it too. I know I will make something out of it. Right now, hope has really deserted me and there is no light coming in from anywhere, but well, things will change. They have to, I wont give up. After twenty two years of fighting life trying to screw me (at least last 10 years of it), I can easily take a few more years. No problems. I will fight back, its like that U2 song, "There is nothing you can throw at me, that I havent already had(heard)". I may be down, but I am not out. Noway!
It has been a rough couple of months for yours truly, the Void. I have lost so much, seen so much come to naught, that I am beginning to doubt myself. Well actually, I started doubting myself, a long time ago, right now I am starting to give up on myself. Everywhere things are like coming to no conclusion, and as much as I am trying to move forward I cant. Its the deep alley I described two years ago, I am back there again. (Click here to read that post)
And real life and dreams are colliding, big time. I keep trying to assure myself its going to be ok, and trying to keep positive, and not get frustrated by it, but it aint happening. I am cold, and as much as I hate to admit this, I am rattled.
"A decison that went wrong in the past, misfortune and misery piled up and one strike and crash..."
But, shit happens all the time. And you have to look above all of that, and be good. I always say, Failure is when your best wasnt good enough, but what does a failure mean? Does it mean your life is over? Or that none of your dreams will ever come true? Some failures are more obvious, like failing a test, now u can always reappear in that test, so not such a big deal. Unfortunately, not all failures are that simple.
But you know, I am disappointed too. Because, I did put in an effort towards everything, I have worked hard for four years, and I expected some rewards right about now. I am just trying to convince myself, that I dont deserve anything, but I cant make myself believe it. Simply because I have put in too much fucking effort, to see it come to naught. Its all so screwed up that I am left wondering where would I be right now, if I had slacked off like many of my friends. Down a sewer maybe?
And maybe I have some other purpose, maybe I am meant to do something else. But most likely, my dues aint paid yet. It looks like, I still have some battles to fight before I can get my life back on track. I am prepared to start at the bottom again, and I am excited about it too. I know I will make something out of it. Right now, hope has really deserted me and there is no light coming in from anywhere, but well, things will change. They have to, I wont give up. After twenty two years of fighting life trying to screw me (at least last 10 years of it), I can easily take a few more years. No problems. I will fight back, its like that U2 song, "There is nothing you can throw at me, that I havent already had(heard)". I may be down, but I am not out. Noway!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Farewell, Baba... May the stars watch over you
"The distance was just over 150 km, but in our hearts it was more."
How do you say your final goodbyes? What do you say to a dying man? What do you say to your person who has loved you since the day you were born, changed your diapers, read you bed time stories, let you win at cards, smiled at your jokes even if they hurt him, what do you say?
What do you say to someone who is much older than you are, seen the life about four times as much as you have, someone who made his life himself, and in all probability made the difference between you being born on a farm or in the city. A person who has contributed to what you are today and what you will be tomorrow. Your first teacher.
What do you say to a person you love so deeply, but standing besides his deathbed you feel awkward. What do you say to a person, you have known your entire life and dont know a single thought running inside his head. What do you say to a person who wont speak back. What do you say to a person, who loves you so much that he cried everytime he saw you, but today with eyes wide open cant summon up a smile on his face.
What do you say to a dying man, how do you tell him it is over. How do you decide when to stop the oxygen and when to bring him home, where he want to close his eyes. How do you play the executioner of God's will. How do you decide when to kill, the one responsible for your presence in the world.
What do you say to his wife, whose tears are uncontrollable, how do you reason with her. How do you reason with yourself, how do you tell yourself to move on and to forget the past. How do you not remember the differences of opinion, and how do you wish for them to go away, how do you turn back time and wipe away those memories of anger and folly. How do you reason with yourself, it wasnt your fault.
How do you control the deep sorrow welling up your heart, how do you wipe away unshed tears or for that matter how do you cry for one who helped shape what you are today. How do you go downstairs and find the will to sit beside his dead body and chant mantras, how do you go to sleep. What do you tell his brother, who expects you to sit next to him and help him through the night with chanting of mantras. How do you switch on your faith in God, and how do you believe there are better things in store for him.
How do you say goodbye to your grandpa?
"The distance was just over 150 km, but in our hearts it was more."
How do I make it untrue?
In all of my glory, and self confidence... this is Void... confused and defeated... hoping the non cynics will fare better than I have.
How do you say your final goodbyes? What do you say to a dying man? What do you say to your person who has loved you since the day you were born, changed your diapers, read you bed time stories, let you win at cards, smiled at your jokes even if they hurt him, what do you say?
What do you say to someone who is much older than you are, seen the life about four times as much as you have, someone who made his life himself, and in all probability made the difference between you being born on a farm or in the city. A person who has contributed to what you are today and what you will be tomorrow. Your first teacher.
What do you say to a person you love so deeply, but standing besides his deathbed you feel awkward. What do you say to a person, you have known your entire life and dont know a single thought running inside his head. What do you say to a person who wont speak back. What do you say to a person, who loves you so much that he cried everytime he saw you, but today with eyes wide open cant summon up a smile on his face.
What do you say to a dying man, how do you tell him it is over. How do you decide when to stop the oxygen and when to bring him home, where he want to close his eyes. How do you play the executioner of God's will. How do you decide when to kill, the one responsible for your presence in the world.
What do you say to his wife, whose tears are uncontrollable, how do you reason with her. How do you reason with yourself, how do you tell yourself to move on and to forget the past. How do you not remember the differences of opinion, and how do you wish for them to go away, how do you turn back time and wipe away those memories of anger and folly. How do you reason with yourself, it wasnt your fault.
How do you control the deep sorrow welling up your heart, how do you wipe away unshed tears or for that matter how do you cry for one who helped shape what you are today. How do you go downstairs and find the will to sit beside his dead body and chant mantras, how do you go to sleep. What do you tell his brother, who expects you to sit next to him and help him through the night with chanting of mantras. How do you switch on your faith in God, and how do you believe there are better things in store for him.
How do you say goodbye to your grandpa?
"The distance was just over 150 km, but in our hearts it was more."
How do I make it untrue?
In all of my glory, and self confidence... this is Void... confused and defeated... hoping the non cynics will fare better than I have.
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