The Three Months

People sometimes ask me why I dont publicise my blog? Its simply because then my blog will be public and I wont be able to get in all personal and stuff. Still I figure I need to write something really cool and nasty, that sounds more like me to get over all the stupid things I wrote in the last part.

One of the things about being twenty one and waiting on your real life to begin is, it is the best time to get into a relationship. The equation is really simple, you have three months left on college. So you try and find someone, have the fun part and get out. Thats like a normal relationship, right? Wrong, basically you have an exit coming up on the highway, and you know it is coming up three months down the line! You have it all planned, three months later you will move, definitely move to a new place and into new dynamics. The dynamics shift is what we are looking for.

To understand what I really mean, lets go back three and a half years. You are a young eighteen year old, walking in, the world is your oyster and all that crap teens believe in. You develop a crush in your first month, ask her out in the second, date her in the third, tolerate her in the fourth, fight her in the fifth and you dump her in the sixth. You still have three and a half years left at the place where you are stuck with the people you never want to see in your life! A lot can go wrong in the three and a half years! You can end up in same friend circle, your best friend can end up dating her, you can end up dating her best friend. That is not to mention all the jokes your friends are going to throw at your face when you two bump in a very public place (like the cafeteria!) It has crisis written all over it. You suddenly find out the life is a bytch, and you get four years training on exactly what kind of bytch the life is!

Or you can choose to skip that training. Believe me life being a bytch is a lesson you will learn without even trying. Life tries to screw you so bad and so much, that by the time four years are over your ass resembles the surface of a golf ball!

Now if you are dating outside your college, let us hope you are suitably located for that kind of thing. That you are living in the heart of the city, and your college workload allows you considerable freedom, then you can date someone who is not remotely connected to your college.
Or there is the LDRs, I am personally prejudiced against LDRs simply because they are lame and is basically not at all like being in a relationship but yeah, there is the LDR. Especially if the chick is in your hometown, your hometown is hundred miles from college and attendance is not so much compulsary. Otherwise they dont work.

But there is a downside to this, what happens is when you are dating someone outside the college that means you are not interested in girls in your vicinity. So what happens is the girls in your vicinity assume you are gay or DC. Now if you break up with the LDR or the gal outside college you get stuck in a no-women's-land zone, which is basically opposite of lesbian booty town. Comparing it with stats, there is 87% chance you will break up before you are 20 and 98% chance you will break up before 21. (Did you know 42% of all stats are made up on the spot?)

So how the three month period works.... In the forst month you locate a girl, calculate the stability and probability (forget the crush part). In the second month you date her, in the third month you create the distance. In the fourth month, but wait... there is no fourth month! You are out of college, just change sims, block her from facebook and orkut and you are done. Or if you dont want to be nasty, you can just keep on increasing the distance, using the shifting dynamics as an excuse, till the elastic limit is reached, plastic deformation occurs and yield point is reached (sorry I am a mechanical engineer!)

Now, why the three month period is crucial. First and foremost WE LIVE IN INDIA, by the time the girl is finishing her four year course their is a eighty percent likelihood her parents are trying to get her married! Even if they are not, the marriage is not distant at all. The girls are looking for freedom and life saviors. Second reason is well, near the end, ends happen! Lot of vulnerable people out there! Third reason is you are stepping into a grownup world, younger chicks dig that. Vulnerability is not just about relationships being over, people also get scared before any new beginnings, like first day of school, first day of college, the first day of real life is approaching!! Run! Run for your lives!!

But the most important reason is people go crazy near graduation. There is simply too much fun that was there in your college life, so in the dying moments you want to have as much of it as possible. You have dreams (not the academic ones you idiot), thoughts, you wanted to accomplish! I shit you not, girls have fantasies about things they want to do before leaving college that will make your head spin! If you get inside it is very close to lesbian booty town! ;)

Have fun and please hook up!

Love
Void

P.S. I humbly dedicate this post to awesome and "legen.... wait for it..... dary (legendary)" Barney Stinson. Go read the Barney's Blog for more wisdom!

My Two Steps to Understanding

I was pissed, then I begin thinking.
I understood the first step and I was still pissed.
I kept thinking
I understood the second step and I was no longer pissed.
I stopped thinking and went to bed.

That is how last three days have been. I have introspected, blamed myself for things that werent my fault. Gotten mad, lost control of self. But I finally figured it out.

There are very few things like morphine in this world. Nothing gives as much kick as a single shot of morphine in your spine. But there is something quite close, somebody coming up to you and saying in a very even tone they hate you, hate you double, loathe you.

The thing that really bothered me was it shouldnt be bothering me, if you know what I mean. Never has anybody gotten so much inside my head than that girl... ugh! But what happens, happens. Not much we can do about it. What we can do instead is figure out they why and take precautions that situation like that dont repeat. Not "the someone saying I hate you" part, but "the bothering" part!

I always quite knew I am not the most popular guy around, people hate me and I am fine with it.
Not much we can do about others. What ticked me off was when the blame games started. I got blamed for things I didnt do and for things I did opposite of. I am not saying I was all right, I too did some bad things, but well... I did what I had to do, to keep the Q4R going. And another thing that upset me was the fact, throughout the year I took so much shit for supporting these people, and at the end of it they dont appreciate it. Sometimes, I wonder why the hell I bothered.

But then, I am happy. I gave people a chance. I tried to make something happen, and maybe it didnt turn out the way some people thought, but it still was something amazing. That was the second step of understanding. She isnt mad at me, but herself. Everybody lost a lot during Q4R, but we all gained. There was not a single person who went to Japan as part of TIRC who didnt become a better/improved/well-rounded (take ur pick) person due to this project. Some of us even believe we took the transition from boys to men in this phase. But there was one person who didnt learn anything. One who lost on other fronts and gained nothing from the project. One person who let that opportunity slip right through her hands. She is mad because she knew she blowed a chance. By blaming it on me, she is seeking redemption of some sorts. It is the defense mechanism at work.

So what do I do? I stand by and watch... I dont interfere. Let her figure out these things on herself, if she does it will hurt but she will take step closer to development. If she doesnt.. well shortcuts also work! At this point I have decided to renew my theory of minimal human interaction. It was a bitter pill I got and I dont want another taste of it anytime soon.

Until laters!

Love
Void!

Ugh!!

I should really be allowed to shoot some people. On such a lovely and beautiful day, when there is the first warmth of the spring sun, people can mess with your head!

Thats why I am happy with minimum contact. And I am not kidding. I just happen to have excellent reasons to do it. Like for instance, this friend of mine (well we are not exactly friends, more like acquaintainces) out of nowhere instilled the idea of becoming a better person in my head. And that idea is a bytch to begin with!! The idea is so deeply horrible and self destructive that I am compulsed to follow it, which basically means curbing all my natural instincts.

The good news is, my insomnia is back and so is nicotine and caffiene. On a day like today, about a month ago, I figured out a couple of things. The first was there are always, invariably two steps to understanding. The first is you understand the situation and the second is you understand the cause of the situation. And we are no nearer a solution yet. Thats whats bugging me. I am as away from the second step as anyone could ever be.

The second thing I figured out was I only want things that I cant get! I dont know if it holds true for everyone, but yes all indications are in that direction!! So the problem basically is I want something I cant have. I only want it because I cant have it, and if I get it I wouldnt want it anymore! Not that I am anywhere even near to getting that thing.

I know what you are thinking... I am messed up in head. Well, what is to say I am not!