Yes, of course you got that right. That is the title of my unpublished abandoned first pathetic attempt at what even I couldnt categorize as a book... but yes it was a start and definitely one of the better titles I have invented over the years. Does that mean today I talk about my failed attempts at writing? definitely not.. thats a story for some other day. Today is the day for nostalgia.. and nostalgia is such an ugly word, the sound is all wrong, the spelling.. it reminds me of nausea and that sure is an ugly word.
So I get nostalgic a lot, big deal. Nostalgia leads to great stories or memoirs or just plain simple blabbering. Which one is on for tonight is but obvious. Today we explore the year in which I found and lost friends, remade them and ended up in serious brotherhood than I expected. The year I went on my first overseas trip, and the year I did something to be proud of, and of course the year I fell in love! lol, kidding about the last part..
So the year (and I dont mean 2008, I mean the academic year meaning somewhere August 2007 to till now) started with an acquaintance falling on his head one fine evening and seriously injuring his head. Out of this trumultous experience bred out the single most dangerous plan I have heard in my entire life. And as the fate would have it, I had a similar accident the next day and the severe trauma of the accident led me to accept what the plan had to offer. Somewhere down the road, we named it Q4R and of course Torque India Racing Club. See the trouble with my group is we are all emotional fools. We deliberately avoid any path that rationality suggests and hence we end up in more than our share of troubles. And as I recall one fine day in the middle of all of this chaos, I was sane enough to consider walking out of this plan but then of course my besty, the evil sorceress, deluded me with talks of pain and blood and right and wrong. Of course, she is sitting somewhere right now laughing uncontrollably at my misery. And then we got our first success, a bright young lad joined our group and he brought smiles for all and also our first cash sponsor. And we all have our fingers crossed that someday he will take leadership burden. He is a good kid, and although he did cry twice in Japan without any reason I believe he is strong enough.
And the year moved on, new year arrived, bringing university exams along. I did well in most of that, passed everything, and then of course febuary came. And everybody knows that I hate febuary, also January but not so much. And as luck would have it, I saw death again and I lost again. But Febuary brought some happy news along, like a car on four wheels, that was Febuary, 14th. But moving on, it wasnt much later that we had our first grand success, we had a running car as on April, 4th and it was a success. It didnt abandon us during the launch on April,5th and ran smooth as a cucumber and we were all relieved. We did fuck up the launch seminar pretty badly as were grossly mismanaged and underprepared, but TI-07 ran smooth and that was all that mattered.
Barely after the euphoria of success settled down, we were faced with the impossible choice, either get the rest of the money or shut the project down. Somebody called 15 days to get the money or quit, we got money in 7. That was somewhere towards the end of April. And that was the start of it all. We planned and schemed and blueprinted what TI-08 would be like, we discussed argued and selected an engine and went on a shopping spree. Nothing did last, barely had we started with our chassis work, the Uni Exams came to haunt us. And this time I might have flunked a couple, I am not sure. The results aint out yet, but maybe I didnt cuz my first impression was I didnt, so well. Once the exams were over, it was sweat and blood and thats all it took really. Countless sleepless nights, countless 16 hour shifts and countless days spent in sun on a roadside pavement completing a dream. And we did, and we did go to Japan.. but
The engine blew up, and I am not the kind of guy who cry at movies or watching tv. I dont cry when people die. But for some reason tears came out. Maybe it was at my stupid fucked up life, or my enormously screwed up luck, or maybe it was just plain disbelief. Cuz I believed we were the good guys, and according to karma we should have got back what we gave. But damn it wasnt meant to be. And perhaps even with the engine, we wouldnt have one that comp but damn it I wanted TI-08 to show what it was truly capable of. And in Fukuroi city, that night I drank my brains out. I was so hammered, I couldnt have differentiated between people and I might have killed someone if the right moment presented. And at that moment I felt like it was the end of my motorsporting dreams.
But Tokyo happened. And I saw life again (there was this great Mexican Sports Bar, called Los Cabos and it was amazing. I had virtually every drink in there and every food! I even ate an Octopus, met with some hookers and other random chicks), and my brothers rallied around me once more, demanding whats their right, another shot at the competition. And yes I was initially very negative, very cynical of chances of survival of Torque India. I am even on a video stating Torque India should disband right now, but I was wrong. TIRC is not one man, its more than that, its heart and blood and sweat of at least seven good men if not more. And well I couldnt just give up, can I? I am in this too deep to quit. And I am glad I made that choice cuz TIRC really deserve another chance.
And as I say again and again, Life is but a matter of choice, this or that, yin or yang.
Hope still drives me...
